No path, Nowhere to go.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

 My approach to the path has always come back to seeing reality as it is, rather than as I'd like to see it. Even though at times I have fallen into habits of acquiring badges, mottos, ranks, as well as theories practices and dogmas, eventually each of these falls away under the ruthless scrutiny of the quest for authenticity in practice. What is left is something that I can't even put a name to, at least not one which will stick as definitive. My understanding is that the main thing standing in my way is myself, my preconceptions, hopes, wishes, fears, desires, even the desire for enlightenment becomes something I carry around like a burden, so anything except that 'something', which is ever present yet somehow hidden, ends up being put aside in the end. The path is like the eye of a needle, and even a tiny knot in the yarn makes passing it through the eye impossible.

 Even the path itself can become a sort of attachment. The idea that there is a path to begin with is the same. Is it a path, or am I just a ghost wandering in the mist? In one sense, religion, spirituality, the path, and the rest, ar all just empty words and rituals. And yet they point towards something else, something deeper, and this I have come to appreciate is an understanding of life that goes beyond these things yet at the same time accepts them as expressions of it, itself being inexpressible in its 'is-ness'.

Many years ago, I had a sort of vision, which I perhaps didn't realise the import of until more recently. In the vision I saw a black ocean, and on it flowers eternally blooming and fading away. With this image came the words, "void flowers". I think I can appreciate this vision now. The sea is that nothingness which is itself an infinite fullness, because though itself unformed, gives birth to all things eternally. Like flowers arising on the surface of the ocean only to sink back down again in endless succession. This image is similar to the Egyptian symbolism of the lotus flower, whos roots are in the black mud of creation, and whos flowers briefly bloom on the surface only to sink back down when their time is over.

While I can see that this is the truth of it, according to the limitations of my perception at any rate, I am still far from realising it in daily life, in my person. The vision is not fully digested so to speak, there are still dregs, knots in the thread, ideas, hopes, fears, and the rest, which I cling to even though I know they are passing away. Holding on to the flowers as if they had any permanence, as if we could preserve even one is the predicament we find ourselves in. If that flower be ones life, career, loved ones, even our sense of self, individuality, a soul, religion, God and the rest. All of these things are flowers on the ocean, they bloom in their time and pass away. 

As a person who has spent a lot of time working on magick and spiritual practice this pulls the rug out from under me somewhat. All the grades, titles, practices, even the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, itself the "image of an image", though important in their own place, are shown to be means to this end, not things to hold on to or to place great importance in. You don't wear skis to cross rocks, or climbing boots to swim in the sea. In the same way, magickal practices are useful in their own place. Qaballah can help order the mind, Goetia or the Abramelin can help bring certain things out or in to the sphere of the magician, yet a magician is only a worker of illusion, that is to say, he operates in the realm of form and concept, of means to ends, and on the lowest levels practical magick to improve ones lot in life. Yet while this remains the focus of practice it is a hinderance to a deeper view which can only really be arrived at when these things are put in their place and understood clearly. Not to refute them in a spasm of world denial, each level of existence has it's proper attributes, only to observe them in this universal perspective, as things that are part of the round of life and death, not things that can be held on to.

By practicing letting go, acquiescing to life as it is without trying to dress it up, or force it into any particular mold, it becomes possible to detach the attention from self, from the impermanent flowers that arise and sink back into the ocean, we become not victims of life, our lives a brief flowering in the sunlight, but willing participants in the dance, the eternal ebb and flow of existence. This can enliven whatever practice or observances we adhere to, because they then become expressions of this voidness, part of the dance and flow, we practice magickal ritual, or meditation, or even drinking tea or quietly sitting, and this is an expression of this eternal flowing and ebbing of the ocean of existence, we become one with it. This it not something to fear or lament over, not is it something to celebrate, it just is, and we can either work with it, or fight against it, and the person who strives against the momentum of the whole universe wastes his strength, even this effort is only a void flower.

Love is the law, love under will.